Networking, STOP pretending to be interested

A lot of the articles which I write, and advice which I give, is about being interested in the other guy. I often quote Dale Carnegie’s advice that you should aim to be interested rather than interesting.

But there is a problem if that interest is false.

I talk to hundreds of people about networking every month, and one of the subjects which comes up really often is that people have been approached by someone who feigns interest in them, when all they really want to do is sell.

Typically, the conversation goes something like this:

“Chat chat chat. Wow that sounds really interesting — I’d love to meet sometime so you can tell me more about what you do.”

And, of course, that meeting is agreed to. Particularly for anyone new to networking, someone being interest enough to want to meet up with you is REALLY flattering and exciting.

Except that when the meeting comes, the person isn’t actually interested at all, they now just want to sell their stuff. And you’ve got all excited, probably travelled, bought some coffee you didn’t really want to drink and, most importantly, invested your time on a false premise.

Being interested in other people takes real effort. That effort is rewarded, over time, with trust. That’s the…